She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
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