dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
