New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
All I want is dick and wine.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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