The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Never joke about your clitoris.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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