Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
