Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
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