lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Randomize
