Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Send help, water and tortillas.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize
