I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
