You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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