return my video game
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Boobs are out for the taking
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Randomize
