Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Randomize
