You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
They are going to name an STD after you.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
