I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize