Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
