I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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