I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Randomize
