I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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