I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
This toilet bowl is my home.
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