Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
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