Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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