Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
