Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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