watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize
