i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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