Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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