just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Randomize
