I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Randomize
