He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
