I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
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