I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
