You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize