no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
My pussy is not your playground.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
