If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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