My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Randomize
