they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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