Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
