Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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