Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
