Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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