State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
