i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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