College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
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