I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Randomize
