yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
