fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
We are all done wearing pants today
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
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