Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
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