the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
