ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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