loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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