Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
my poor anus
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
