Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
