I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
