I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
