maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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