Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Randomize
