Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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