If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
