i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize