Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
