Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
