Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
