So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
